Everyone’s at least a little crazy
We can be there for each other though
It’s worth noting that no one asks for a mental illness. Despite the fact that anxiety and depression seem to be almost popular right now. No one wakes up one morning and thinks “Hey, my life is awesome, i think i’ll be sad and afraid of people from now on because normalcy is getting boring.” I know I didn’t choose mental illness. Interestingly though, since more people are being open about it, others are recognizing the trauma in their own lives and saying to themselves, “Maybe that’s why I am the way I am.”
A lot of the more well known surveys put the statistics of people with mental illness at about 1 in 5. As someone who’s lived with severe mental illness for almost fifteen years though, I have a little bit of a working theory that most everyone, at some point in their lives, will experience a touch of madness.
This is supported by a 2017 study that followed a generation of New Zealanders, all born in the same town, from birth to midlife. The researchers tested them regularly throughout the years using simple, evidence-based tools, they found that the percentage of those who develop a diagnosable mental illness at any point was well more than 80 percent. On the other side, 17 percent of the members in the study didn’t appear to develop a disorder, at least briefly, at any point, by the end of the study. However, because the researchers couldn’t be sure these people remained free of a disorder in the years between the regular testing, the actual percentage that never once experienced mental illness symptoms may be even smaller.
it seems that no matter who you are, you’ve at some point in your life faced trauma or a series of traumas that had a hand in forming who you are as a person.I know I have. It may have been your situation growing up, it may have been some teasing by other kids at school, it may have been the death of a loved one or it may just have been the consequences of being vulnerable in a situation where you were at risk.
Trauma changes people. whether it’s at the hands of another human being or some insurmountable obstacle that tested your faith in yourself. I’ve been subject to it at several points in my life and it’s a chore to grapple with. Trauma’s not the only cause either, in my case, sometimes my brain chooses to do things differently than normal and I end up holding the circumstances of a chemistry that is just a little off.
The point i’m trying to make is that everyone struggles, everyone has obstacles and everyone has been hurt. In my situation, my brain has tried to compensate for this and I’ve ended up with things like depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive thoughts and other complications that make being a human in this messed up world even harder.
Some people self medicate with drugs or alcohol, some people get treatment, some people act out, and some people just live with it never knowing that there’s anything wrong with the way they are. I’ve tried to be diligent about recovery, always taking my meds and using therapy when I needed it but I’m still struggling. I, by definition, am an imperfect creature and it’s all I can do not to perpetuate the damage done to me onto other people that I love.
As I continue to try to function in society I feel like I have to tamp down my damage and appear as normal as possible. That practice alone can cause me to feel things like fear, anxiety and sadness.
I feel alone sometimes, I feel like I can’t go any further and for moments like those it’s important that I remember that I am not alone in my fight, each of us battles something, every single one of us has something they feel insecure about and something that makes them a warrior and a survivor.
I hope I can help others too, I can listen to my friends and I can reach out if I notice them pulling away. As a human being, I need to be there for my people when times get tough. I need to be a good friend and I need to let my people know that I love them and that they are never alone. Maybe one day I’ll get over this crap about putting up a strong front for society because I constantly have to remind myself that no one, not a single person feels completely secure in themselves.
If you’re in pain just know you are not, and have never been alone in this. There is always someone willing to help, and there is always someone who cares. here are some resources if you need that help.
I take joy in the fact that more people are speaking out about the complications they face regarding their mental health. Perhaps someday instead of lying and saying I’m great, when someone asks me how I’m doing, I can feel secure enough to speak the truth and say, actually things suck right now, but that’s ok.
